Almost Your Mother

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Have I told you the one about my almost son breaking his little stick of a leg?

So you remember my almost son, Jeremy Gonzalez, of course, co star of the PRACTICALLY WORLD FAMOUS podcast, “Almost Your Mother.”
Naturally the minute I was out of town and not keeping a close eye, the boy went ice skating. Just normal, family-style ice skating, mind you, not Olympic triple Axel jumps.
But Jeremy is always over-the-top, so he went big before going home. With one fall of an average-height man, my almost son broke his upper fibula and separated the ankle bone from the leg bone.
Surgery and screws followed.

And now, everyyyyyoooone gets the fallout. Jeremy is in pain and bored beyond his capacity to be bored. Which is quite short in the best of times.
He can’t drive or put pressure on his foot for nearly six weeks. He can get out of bed, crutch three steps to a chair and stay there the entire day, working his job from his laptop.
“I keep tripping on my crutches. Not because I’m so clumsy but because I hate moving so slow,” he told me today. “I really can’t do anything.”
This is the guy that moves through life at about 89 mph on the slowest days. His Facebook profile is populated with pictures of him taking crazy leaps with splayed legs. When Camo Man and I went bowling with Jeremy and his better (seriously better) half, he had to show off by leap-frogging the ball-return machine.
His four kidoodles are handling this new version of Daddy well, he assured me. “They come and give me hugs and kisses every time they see me.”
That’s not going to last, I warned him. I figure by this time next week, his adorable ones are going to be a little less patient with the father who is not only bored but boring.
In the meantime, I’ve got the adult kid who is posting his whining on Facebook.  I warned him I was going to blog about this and his response? “I don’t get a whole column, just a blog post?”
SO ungrateful.
Here’s what I need you, want you, am begging you to do — flood Jeremy’s email with messages. Send him funny stories, pictures of your cat, knock-knock jokes, cheerful anecdotes, whatever. Anything to STOP THE WHINING. Send all this and more to Gonzo.jeremy@gmail.com.
If you’ve never met him, all the better. Get your friends to do the same. Get your mom in on this, too. Post this everywhere and spread the pain…I mean, word.
Thank you.

Jeremy's feet in happier times

 

 

 

“Tell them I’m not satisfied with a blog.” PUNISH HIM.

 

Filed under: Almost Your Mother, what you can do to help, Almost Your Mother, From the Storage Room, Jeremy Gonzalez, Milton-Freewater, Sheila Hagar, Walla Walla, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin, YWCA Ice Chalet

So this is embarrassingly late

But here is the latest podcast of Almost Your Mother with special guest Catie McIntyre.

Please don’t look at the terrible picture of me on that page.

Filed under: Almost Your Mother, Almost Your Mother, Catie McIntyre, Jeremy Gonzalez, Sheila Hagar, Through the Walla Walla Grape Vine, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin, Walla Walla wine, Wild Walla Walla Wine Woman

Steve Johnson, a.k.a. Sam McLeod and lover-of-corn-dogs

joins us on Episode No. 8  of “Almost Your Mother.”

It’s the week to talk about fair food and  the demo derby, yet we still manage to end up at Jell-O.

Listen HERE!

Filed under: Almost Your Mother, Almost Your Mother, Sam McCloud, Sheila Hagar. Jeremy Gonzalez, Steve Johnson, Union-Bulletin podcast, Walla Walla, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin

We went remote!

For this week’s podcast, we went to a remote location — in other words, we walked a few blocks to Olive Marketplace on Main Street.  If you noticed us at our little outdoor table, I hope you waved.

We plan to do more of those, at various locations. Or maybe call up random numbers in the phone book and ask if we can stop by to do a podcast at your house. Remember, dust makes no sound, so you don’t have to worry. Or maybe we should go to the local police stations and see if anything exciting happens while we are there. Like Jeremy getting busted for another speeding ticket.

Anyway, this week we talked about Jeremy losing his wallet out of his…wait for it…unlocked car. Right. Unlocked and yes, he habitually leaves his wallet there. We also, finally, talk about my dating life.  Or, rather, non-dating life.

Check it out, find us at almostyourmother.com.(Click HERE) and follow us on Facebook. Or on Twitter, where we had to call ourselves Almostyourmom to fit within the guidelines. You can leave comments on the sites or write to us at almostyourmother@wwub.com.

OK, click HERE for this week’s podcast!

Filed under: Almost Your Mother, Almost Your Mother, Internet dating, Jeremy Gonzalez, Sheila Hagar, stolen wallet, Terry McConn, Union-Bulletin podcast, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin

Jeremy DID talk about…you know

Unreal.

Nonetheless, we had a good time with this episode of Almost Your Mother. The podcast includes reading some fan comments, a description of our ghetto studio, some chatter about sending emails after you’ve died and, well, the data Jeremy discovered about normal bathroom habits.

I’m just going to apologize in advance.

Filed under: Almost Your Mother, Almost Your Mother, Jeremy Gonzalez, Last emails, Sheila Hagar, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin, Walla Walla Union-Bulletin pod cast