Francis and me, together again

So I’ve been saying “yes” to a fair number of public speaking gigs these days.

Not because I like it. Oh, no. I do it because of the — perhaps misguided — idea that forcing myself to tie my stomach in knots and reduce my fingernails to bloody shreds will ultimately be good for me.

The second I’m done with one engagement I vow to never do that again. Then I do. And here is where I insert a blanket apology to all who have suffered. Yet, I STILL do not want a Toastmasters member to call me and invite me to join the club.

But I am excited about tomorrow’s gig. Yours truly has been invited to Freewater School (the alma mater of  my father, my aunt and my children) to read to kiddos. The organizer asked me what I would like to read.

Like asking someone which diamonds they want out of a room packed to the ceiling with diamonds.

My mind immediately flew to Stellaluna, of course. But then the prize gem occurred to me — THE FRANCIS BOOKS.

The Russell Hoban stories about the little badger named Francis have been my dessert for years. That little imp of a badger child has reminded me so many times of my human children. Not wanting to go to bed, not so happy it’s her little sister’s birthday …

But “Bread and Jam for Francis” is my ultimate favorite. I love jam, and Francis loves jam. So much that she wants nothing BUT bread and jam. I know just how she feels. And before I decided to get healthy, I used to devour a piece of bread and jam after reading that book. It was a Pavlovian response.

And I’m not saying it couldn’t happen again, either. It would be a lot of carbs, absolutely, but so worth it. I wonder if I can pass out bread and jam to my audience? They would love bread and jam, too, I’m sure.

Francis just kind of does that to you. This may be illustrator Lillian Hoban’s best moment for Francis.

So if you want to hear me read Francis stories and perhaps eat bread and jam, drop by Freewater Elementary School in Milton-Freewater on Thursday at 6 p.m. Bring extra jam. Bring boysenberry, please.